Happy Valentine's day my Dear Readers. Don't forget to make love a daily affair, not just today's, I will be making today's talk very simple too.

This is the most difficult aspect of loving, to forgo one's self and make another happy. It is a natural impulse in man to please himself, all of our life struggles is for our happiness and good feeling. In a relationship (marriage) two persons come together to live as one, to take one decision, take one action and take full responsibility of that one action. To human mind this is stupidity but to love, it is strength, the strength in 'two heads are better than one', it is the true sign of commitment.

What constitutes selfishness is so broad that I cannot fully cover it in one article. I wouldn't want to bore you with long talks today but you are selfish if you do the following:

1.) You don't consider how your decision affects others: you go to market to buy food stuff for dinner, you know he cannot eat 'òhá' (a type of local soup from Eastern Nigeria) because he has ulcer, you know he has no alternative for the night but you really want to eat òhá and you buy òhá. You do not care that he'd have to go to bed hungry, you don't care that he'd come back home tired and hungry, you don't care that it would make him angry, you argue with yourself that he can take the banana in the fridge, after all he is becoming overweight, you just want to satisfy your taste buds, what are you?

2.) You don't see the need to compromise: you want to attend a friend's party, he needs to meet with a client urgently, you have said since 2 weeks ago that you'll go with the car, this deal he is about to strike will yield profit for you both, he doesn't even apologize immediately for having to use the car, because of that you refuse to hear him out and drive out while he is dressing up, what are you?

3.) You don't know how to ask for forgiveness when you're wrong: she let's you have your way, you go for the business deal with the car and she goes with public transport to the party, the deal goes badly and you didn't sell again, you encountered a traffic jam on your way back and are all exhausted, you come back to find out dinner isn't even ready and your favorite shirt got stained where you spread it. You eat something and go to sleep without saying an apology to her for not obliging her 2 weeks old request to use the car. What are you?

4.) You ask others to live 'your life': slavery is founded on the selfishness of man's nature... Abraham Lincoln. You get married to the best graduating student of Law, she has what it takes to get a job, yes we know your mum was a housewife even with her own degree but she wants to build her career, it wouldn't stop her from running her home she tells you, but it's not ideal for you, you force her into what you want at the expense of her happiness, with a threat to leave the marriage if she refuses. What are you?

5.) You use weakness of others for your own pleasure: you have a personal need to change your phone, your husband is willing to do it but pleads that you wait till the next month, he just paid school fees for the kids and is struggling to foot other bills, you are convinced that he is saying the truth but are aware of the general fund of his coworkers in his care, you lure him into bed and have sex with him, at the point of ecstasy you refuse to continue unless he makes you a transfer, he goes ahead to do so as he cannot hold himself, he gives you the money and encounters trouble with his colleagues. What are you?

As I said earlier, it is not enough to compromise for your better half, you must also be willing to take full responsibility for the result of any action he/she takes on behalf of you both. This love thing is not easy right eh? How can a sane human being be responsible for another's actions? Hehehehe my people, Love is not self seeking, Love is a serious business. While you eat and drink with that man/woman today, I sincerely hope you're ready to love.