Anybody can become angry - that is easy but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree and at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy (Aristotle).

Now that the Valentine wind has stopped blowing I want to ask a few questions ladies and gents; did you get a gift? Were you satisfied? Or are your angry?
Its perfectly fine to be angry with your partner at some points despite their efforts at showing you love. Feeding your dog, washing him, caring for him when sick and even getting him his favorite dog food on Sundays, will not stop him from barking at you and even biting off your hand, should you get him pissed off. And we are talking of humans who assess even the intentions behind your good actions. Our loved ones can be annoying and its okay to get angry but the way and manner with which we express anger towards them matters so much. Today I will be sharing with you some anger management tips for a healthy relationship.

Being angry with the right person:
For our relationships (marriages) to work, it's very necessary that we do not live as 'broken' individuals. Get healing for every hurtful thing that you experience, know your true object of anger and don't release your anger on the wrong person. Disregard every stereotypical story you have heard about men or women or even your partner and give them a chance to show you who they truly are. Several things can make one angry with the wrong person; poor judgement, low self esteem, pride, envy etc. Find out what issues you have and solve them.

 Being angry to the right degree: Self control is the tool that makes you know that the hot coal you are holding, ready to haul it on your partner will actually leave your own hand burnt afterwards. Now, the hotter this coal is, the worse it's damage on your palm. Whatever we do when we are angry, affects us too; if you shout at your wife she will coo away, if you call her an idiot be ready when she starts acting like one LOL, if you lay your hands on her your marriage will never be the same. Whatever emotions we express come from within us and we can manage them, never let yourself get consumed by your 'own' anger.

Being angry at the right time: Someone wrongs you, you claim to have forgiven them and then you bring it up and even act on it like 2 weeks later. If you truly cannot be calm and must express your anger for you to relax, at least do it at the right time. Do not say 'I'm fine' when you're not, you will only end up building distrust.

Being angry for the right purpose: it is true that we all do not perceive things in the same way and our expressions of anger is subject to this. But we all must develop an attitude of discerning what deserves anger and what does not. I am by no means discrediting anyone's sense of judgement but we should learn to overlook some things, especially things that do not have a futuristic implication or a great tendency to be repeated.


Being angry in the right way: How do you express your anger? A gentle answer turns away wrath but harsh words stirs up anger; Proverbs 15:1. The way we respond to and express anger matters a lot in out relationship. I have a cheat I have been using, '' when next you get angry, step outside, drain as much glass of water as you can. If you cannot finish a 5L gallon then know your degree of anger is still too small and whatever it is that made you angry is something you can overlook ''. It's not nice when people break glasses or throw objects on the wall in front of their loved ones. You may think you didn't beat them at least but you have left their minds completely battered. You make them afraid of you, they begin to imagine that the wall on which the vessel landed could be them one day.

Do not destroy what you built yourself because of a display of uncontrolled anger. Love is not easily angered, choose love today.