What is this I'm hearing?
Someone set his girlfriend ablaze for allegedly cheating on him.
Domestic violence is becoming a regular story in our news, this is quite disturbing.
First of all, I think many of us don't have a good understanding of what a relationship is. If I want to purchase a footwear and go to a store, I am entitled to try on as many footwear as I can. I can even wear two at the same time just to make a final choice amongst the two. I can also have a particular type of footwear in mind and once I enter and see it, I will pay for it and leave. A relationship is not a do or die affair, it is not a binding agreement. It's liability is limited! This simply means it is solely my decision to make with regards to sticking just with you. I can cheat on you, I can leave you any time, I can change my mind about staying with you. We are not bound by any oath, the worst scenario should be you breaking up with me when you cannot tolerate me.
Now coming to the abuse part. The world is filled with crazy people and psychos that don't even realise that they need help. Before you begin any relationship, please check out his/her emotional stability, go beyond the looks!
You showed him a harmless comment on your picture from your classmate, he asks you to delete his number (he is unreasonably jealous and possessive).
He starts commenting on your looks, I love you baby but I don't like you wearing makeover (he is controlling).
He pushed down the soup pot from the cooker in his own house but blames you instead for not keeping it the other way round when you entered (He constantly blames you for everything).
You tell him you want to hangout with the ladies, he suddenly remembers he planned to go to the movies with you and gets angry should you go ahead with your plans (He isolates you from your friends).
You just met him two weeks ago and He begins to say he will die if you leave him. Oshey! support system! (He is manipulative).
PS: The above scenarios are exaggerated examples intended to paint a picture for our readers.
PS: The above scenarios are exaggerated examples intended to paint a picture for our readers.
If you ever find yourself considering your intended partner to be any of these (the list goes on too), please it's time to go. Don't wait until he/she begins to hit you or torture you.
Stay safe people and have a beautiful Sunday!
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
20 Comments
Nice!
ReplyDeleteI totally appreciate Amalunwanze.
DeletePlease ladies don't be deceived. Once you see the signs run!
ReplyDeleteDon't allow pressure of any kind to lead you into this doom.
Relationship is not a do or die affair.
Some other person will love and respect you.
Pressure is such a terrible reason to take any decision in life. Thank you Dear Muna. I too believe there is someone who will love and respect us.
DeleteIn terms of *deleting numbers*, it's not abt the guy being harmless to the lady and saying things like *baby you look cute* Some men hate competition.That guy may be harmless to the girlfriend but a competition to the boyfriend
ReplyDeleteVery nice point Chi, our men truly hate competition. I however wouldn't have any business with a guy who doesn't trust what I say. I look at it from this angle, you could have decided not to show him the comment. What then happens?
ReplyDeleteNice... But the not wearing makeover thing might just be him saying what he prefers, same way some ladies will tell their partners not to shave off their beards or not to even keep one
ReplyDeleteThat was clearly for emphasis but thank you for this beautiful observation. We should find out the intent behind what our partner says before concluding.
DeleteRelationship no be child's play. Shine your eyes, and for Christ sake don't be in a relationship that you tolerate your partner, if he or she shows the red light, Abeg Japa....Run!!
ReplyDeleteOur brother here says we should shine our eyes oh and know when to run. Don't manage him/her, know what you want. Thank you so much for that wonderful contribution.
DeleteThere's no need to hope he'd change when he'd convincingly displayed his offensive traits and demeanors to a glaring view, but the problem with most girls are their unwillingness to push the quit button, because of their conceived shame that their supposed partner have had a feel of their wetness. Ladies should quit believing that all relationship would definitely lead to the aisle, whether it had been definitive or not. Once it doesn't portend well, learn to pat your butts and draw the curtain before it ends in cold blood scenes.
ReplyDeleteSuch a nice read, dear...
A very important point ladies. Do not stay with an abuser even if you are pregnant for him. Thank you Maverique.
DeleteGreat Insights...most women pressured by society to stay in abusive relationships. They want the stigma of being tagged the impatient woman, blah blah. Society has raised our young ladies to please the man but has not taken time to raise the young men to love,understand and accept the diverse nature of the woman. Once again,Thank you for this eye opener.
ReplyDeleteStigma, raised to please a man. I want to appreciate every woman out there, tracing a path for herself. Do not let societal pressure to lead you into things that you neither like nor are healthy for you. You are a being of your own and have a choice.
DeleteDear anonymous commenter, I totally appreciate this.
Very interesting write up
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you like it Joshua. Thank you.
DeleteCool write-up👍I like the example you used going to store and making choices of shoes before buying one. But can you return the shoes back to the seller if you don't like the shoes anymore? It's good to be careful in making selection before marriage but if a woman finds himself in such ugly condition, she should resort to prayers and other helpful means Help her partner . This is because that psycho(the woman beater) can go on and on to beat every woman he brings to his house. So my point is that instead of a woman leaving her husband because of the above, she should help him. I also believe the woman have enough careful checks before getting serious relationship with him. #imnotawomanbeater#
ReplyDeleteVery good suggestion. We should try to help our loved ones overcome their challenges. But we must know when to draw the line. If at any point your life becomes endangered, kindly keep off.
DeleteA very good and informative write up, keep it up Chinenye
ReplyDeleteYou are highly appreciated Dear reader.
Delete